|Atheists... I am Satan and I want your BRAIN!|
I feel so stupid.
How could I have been so wrong?
I used to consider myself an man who formed his beliefs in reason and science... A fact based thinker... A secular humanist... A nontheist... An Atheist.
I have now realized that it has all been an illusion created by the grandmaster of lies himself and that I am in fact...
...POSSESSED BY SATAN!
A great man has shown me the error of my ways... A man by the name of Gordon Klingenschmitt!
While preaching the good word on his "Pray In Jesus Name" radio program Klingenschmitt explained that church-state separation groups like the ACLU and the Freedom From Religion Foundation are literally representatives of "demonic power."
Klingenschmitt then went on to enlighten his audience explaining that Atheists are in fact possessed by demonic spirits but that we do not realize it because these demonic spirits are blinding us to the fact that we are possessed by demonic spirits.
If you can follow that logic you realize what an unholy catch 22 all us Atheists are in!
In trying to explain his perfectly easy to follow logic Klingenschmitt went on to cite 2 Corinthians 4:4 (albeit incorrectly) saying...
"an atheist complainer, he looks at Jesus and doesn't see the glory of Christ. He's blind. And who has blinded him? Satan inside of him as blinded his eyes. It's impossible for atheists to discern the demonic spirits"
How right brother Klingenschmitt is! What he claims explains everything so neatly and all without having to possess any pesky factual evidence for true believers like himself and his audience to deal with. It's almost like some made up a nonsensical set of rules so they wouldn't have to confront any of the questions non-believers might have for them (or that they might have for themselves for that matter). Now they can just chalk all Atheists up to being possessed by Satan... And who wants to listen to Satan less that a true believer? It's a good thing all of this church driven dogma is true or someone might look at this simplistic explanation as some half assed reasoning for them to bury their head in the sand and not face facts! You know, like a child who doesn't want to hear something so he plugs his ears with his fingers and sings "la la la".
On a final note...
|Here is Gordon Klingenschmitt preachin' the good word on his show!|
Gordon Klingenschmitt is a disgraced former Navy Chaplain who was court-martialed for disobeying direct orders when he attended a political rally in front of the White House in March 2006 dressed in his Navy uniform (a violation of military regulations). After his dismissal from the Navy Klingenschmitt proceeded to the rounds on right wing radio and TV to lie about his court-martial claiming he was drummed out of the Navy for praying publicly in Jesus’ name. He then parlayed the fame, sympathy and money he garnered from the far right to form his tax exempt Colorado Springs-based “The Pray in Jesus Name Project,”.
Satan get thee behind me!